How often have you cried out for help?

Maybe it was to God, Buddha, Allah, your minister, your boss, your spouse, a friend or family member...

What specifically did you ask help for?

What did they tell you?

Did you take their advice?

If not... why not?

For over 20 years I lived with an anxiety disorder that was crippling...

There was nothing I wanted more than to be free of the non-stop feelings of fear, stress, anxiety and worry... or so I told myself.

I used to read books, articles, ask advice, pray and reflect on my disorder and wonder why no one... including God would help me.

Was this a test?

Is this something I deserved for a past wrong?

Is this just normal for everyone?

Now looking back I believe maybe it was a test but it certainly did not have to go on as long as it did.

Although I know it wasn't punishment for a past wrong it was something I brought on myself because of choices I made and lies I allowed myself to believe.

Thirdly, it is absolutely NOT normal to live everyday, all day feeling anxious, panic stricken and afraid.

But I want to go back to why no one... including God... would help me... or so I thought.

Looking back it is so abundantly clear there was help being offered me from every direction... I just chose to ignore it.

The steps I took to overcome fear and anxiety were steps I knew to take for years prior to actually doing them.

To be perfectly honest I can't even say the answers were buried deep within me... because they weren't... I just had every excuse in the book to not do what I knew to do...

I'll get right on that... tomorrow

I'm too tired right now...

What if it doesn't work?

What if I fail?

What if I look like an idiot?

I can't do it...it's too hard...

The world hates me... life is unfair...

Why won't anybody help?

God why won't you answer my prayers?

Near the top of the post I wrote:

"There was nothing I wanted more then to be free of the non-stop feelings of fear, stress, anxiety and worry... or so I told myself."

But there was something I wanted more... it was to not have to change... it was to not have to choose differently... it was to not have to commit... it was to not allow anyone to know I needed help!

What do you want more than to be free of your fear, anxiety, panic attacks and worry?

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